Christmas Adventure

Ah, Christmas 2010, a day (or should I say, week) that will forever live in infamy in the Folden household. Gearing up for our trip back home, I had not fully prepared myself for what would unfold. I was preoccupied with excitement about Mackenna's very first Christmas. I had no time to really worry about possible teething and all that ensues with that developmental milestone. That was the beginning of my demise. Oh sure, I had noticed that in the past two weeks, Mackenna's chewing and drooling had increased dramatically and her gums were red and swollen, but I never thought we'd be traveling when that cute little first tooth popped through.

We left for our 12+ hour drive back home on Monday afternoon. As I was making last minute preparations on Monday, I noticed that Mackenna's bottom left tooth looked like it was nearly through and as the excitment set in, so did the anxiety. "Oh no! Will she be cutting this first tooth as we're driving? This could be a long, and stressful drive!" But, I quickly put those thoughts out of my mind, made sure I had packed Infant Tylenol, and continued my preparations.  The drive back home went perfectly. Mackenna napped, played, talked, and actually enjoyed the ride. The only time she was fussy was the last 45 minutes or so. And to be honest, we all were a little fussy those last 45 minutes. Then, on Wednesday morning, there was a tooth. No drama, no extra fussiness, no night wakings, nothing. Just a cute little white tooth that made my darling baby girl look a little more grown up than she had the day before. *Mommy Tear*

The second bottom tooth looked like it was making quick progress towards popping through and everyone (including myself) thought for sure it would cut before we left. But, it didn't. What it did do, was cause every teething symptom to the fullest degree possible for the next five days (well, it's still going on, but we've made some progress). Thursday afternoon and evening, Mackenna started having a diaper rash. Not uncommon. So, I followed all the steps to treat a diaper rash. Friday morning it looked a little better. By Friday night, it was a full blown diaper rash. Each diaper change Mackenna would scream, sweat, and squirm. We began the "bathe at every diaper change" routine and applied Desitin liberally. Two days, and two Desitin tubes later, NO PROGRESS! In fact, it kept getting worse. I called my nurse, three times, tried some new tricks, and still no healing. Mackenna wasn't sleeping at night, wasn't smiling during the day, and her voice was hoarse from crying every two hours during her diaper changes.

Dustin and I were exhausted and were stretched more than we'd ever been stretched before. With little sleep, a screaming baby with a diaper rash that was getting worse, not better, and being home for the holidays, God taught us how to communicate even more as a couple. We failed. A lot. But over the course of the week, we had learned how to be more like Christ in the situation. We became better team mates. Each diaper change became a chance for us to work together to help our baby girl by doing everything the nurses were telling us to do. Dustin held Mackenna. I cleaned her up. Dustin tried to occupy her as she soaked in her baking soda baths. I applied ointments, creams, and powders. Dustin closed up her diaper and got her PJ's back on. And I laid her down with her pacifier and her new Glo Worm from Grandpa Dennis. And then we got about an hour and a half of sleep before the next round of diaper changes. Finally, after discovering that it had turned from a diaper rash to a yeast diaper rash, we found the right cream (Lotriman, for all you mommies out there)!

We had applied Lotriman a couple of times before we left for our trek back home, but had seen little progress. My anxiety about the trip home was raising my heart rate! "How am I supposed to change diapers without wipes in a truck stop? How am I going to do these diaper changes alone if there isn't a family bathroom? What if we have to stop every hour for a diaper change and it takes us 24 hours to get home?" But, here again, God was in control. Mackenna was SO exhausted from being up the past two nights, that for the majority of the trip, she slept. We had six diaper changes the first day of the trip, which was 7 hours. Yes, that's about three more than usual, but by the end of the day, I was a pro at "truck stop diaper rash diaper changes." Day two we had five diaper changes, but three of those were in family bathrooms, so I had my team mate back to help me. :-)

So, overall, although Mackenna may have not enjoyed her first Christmas very much, God used her teething ailments to help Dustin and I grow stronger together. She'll probably never remember her first Christmas, but she's stuck with us, so if we needed this trial to grow in Christ and in turn, be better parents and a better example of a godly marriage, then that's exciting in my books. Mackenna's first Christmas will forever be known as the Christmas Adventure and while I hope that she doesn't remember all the pain and tears, I do hope that we share this story with her often so that she will see how God works in our lives to change us to be more like His Son.

I'll leave you with some pictures. Enjoy!

 Reading with Grandma Lee Ann!

 She loved the bows on presents!

 Second cousins, or is it first cousin once removed?

 Mackenna and her Pillow Pal from Uncle TJ!

 Reading her favorite book with Auntie!

 Four Generations: Great Grandpa Warren, Grandpa Dennis, Mommy, and Mackenna!

 She wanted to eat the tissue paper...

... and the wrapping paper!

In Celebration of Mackenna's Eighth Month Birthday

Eight Things That Mackenna's Doing Today That Make Me Smile

1) Army Crawling... or more appropriately named "The Inchworm"
2) Babbling back and forth with an expression on her face that says, "Mom, this is important stuff!"
3) Making silly faces
4) Playing with my hair
5) Pointing to my eyes when asked, "Where are Mommy's eyes?" (Smart girl, eh?)
6) Sleeping... I love playing with my girl, but there's nothing like some time to recharge while she's napping!
7) Giggling
8) Helping me turn the pages when I read to her... this has been one of my favorite things that she's learned to do most recently!

Happy 8 Month Birthday, Mackenna Grace! Daddy and Mommy love you so much!

Christmas Letter 2010

"The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy!" Psalm 126:3

Dear Family and Friends,

It's hard to believe that two thousand ten is closely coming to an end. As quickly as the year has passed, it was filled with blessings beyond measure and memories that we will cherish forever.

We started the year off with Trisha six months into her pregnancy with our first daughter, Mackenna Grace. The second trimester treated her much nicer than the first, and we were busy preparing for the arrival of our bundle of joy. Dustin began the final semester of his seminary education at Faith Bible Seminary and worked hard to finish strong. By the time April came, we were both ready to meet Mackenna Grace and it seemed as though the days crept by in slow motion.

On April 13th, 2010 we were blessed as our daughter was born at 10:14 am, weighing 7 pounds, 1 ounce, and measuring up at 19.5 inches. She is beautiful! We grew in trusting God as Mackenna was admitted to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) shortly after birth due to a fever and undiagnosed respiratory infection. So many friends and family joined with us in prayer for Mackenna's recovery and we were overcome with peace and joy that went beyond our understanding. In the midst of a trial, God's grace sustained us and our trial became a blessing and testimony of God's goodness in our lives.

After Mackenna's birth, we had the pleasure of many visits from grandparents and relatives. Almost every month we've been blessed by a visit from loved ones. As new parents, this has brought such joy to our hearts, not to mention some much needed rest as extra hands help care for Mackenna.

In June Dustin graduated from Faith Bible Seminary, and was offered a position as Pastor of Community Ministries at Faith Baptist Church in Lafayette, Indiana. With a new baby at home and with Trisha staying home to take care of her, it was a relief to have a job secured and a plan in place after graduating from seminary. Dustin serves as the Director of Faith Community Center as well as providing pastoral leadership over staff, volunteers, and community members. He also has the opportunity to teach an Adult Bible Fellowship on Sunday mornings. This position uses many of Dustin's gifts while still challenging him to grow.

In October we became first time homeowners. We purchased a home close to the church and perfect for the three of us. After a few coats of paint, unpacking, arranging, and re-arranging, we have settled in and are enjoying making memories in our new home.

Mackenna is growing and changing so quickly. She is about seven and a half months old right now and just began "army" crawling. She kind of looks like a little inch worm pulling herself across the living room floor. It has been so neat to watch her learn to roll, then sit up by herself, then lean forward, then "army" crawl. One of our favorite things to hear is her cute little voice babbling away. She seems to babble most when she thinks we're not listening, like during a car ride or early in the morning before we've gotten her up from her crib. Waking up to baby babbles over the monitor is so much more lovely than baby cries! The Bible says in Psalm 127:3 that, "Children are a blessing from the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward." This year, we have experienced the truth of that verse.

As we approach this Christmas season, we don't want to forget the greatest blessing of all, the free gift of salvation in Christ. God has made a way for our relationship with Him to be restored, despite our sinful hearts. We don't have to be good enough, nice enough, or kind enough. We don't have to balance the scales and try to make up for our sins by doing good works. For one, we could never keep track of good works versus our sins and secondly, even if we could, our good works would never be enough. We don't have to earn forgiveness for our sins. God gives forgiveness freely to all who repent and trust in Christ. Because, you see, Christ was perfect. He was good enough, nice enough, and kind enough. He never had to make up for any sin, because everything that He did was good and pleasing to God. He did not need forgiveness because He never sinned. In fact, Christ is the one who grants forgiveness. Christ did not deserve to die, yet He did, for our sakes. And with His death, God's wrath was satisfied. The only way to God is through faith in Christ.

"For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from the wrath of God through Him. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life." Romans 5:6-10

So as we celebrate this Christmas Season, let us not forget to be thankful for a God who loves us enough to send His own Son to save us from our sins. He is the giver of all good things and His blessings are beyond what we deserve. We are so thankful for such wonderful family and friends and wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!



Merry Christmas! 

With much love,

Dustin, Trisha, and Mackenna

A Year in Pictures

January: Another look at Mackenna Grace

February: Anticipating the arrival of our precious girl!

March: Showered with Gifts!

April: Mackenna Grace Folden is here!

May: Our Growing Family

Visits from Grandpa Dennis and Grandma Patti

June: Dustin graduates from Faith Bible Seminary! All the grandparents come to see Mackenna... and to see Dustin graduate!

July: More fun with our girl!

August: Four Generations!

Visits from Grandpa Dennis, Great Grandma Rose, Great Auntie Denise, & cousins Abby and Camryn

September: Loving a visit from Poppi Paul, Uncle Turner....

...and a surprise visit from Grandma Patti!

October: Grandma Lee Ann and Auntie Allee come to see us!

November: Our Little Turkey on her first Thanksgiving!

Folden Family Pajama Day

In Honor of Mackenna Grace Folden's very first cold... we've deemed October 14th the official Folden Family Pajama Day. From here on out, if possible (meaning, we don't have commitments outside of our home), October 14th will be a day of pajama wearing and relaxing.

For having an infection at birth, I have been very thankful that God has kept our girl healthy for the first 6 months of her life. Yesterday, on her 6 month birthday, she succumbed to her very first cold... fever and all. She is so miserably congested and only finds relief when being held or when playing in her "monkey seat" (aka Fisher Price Jumperoo). Since she can't sleep in her monkey seat, she's either sleeping in my arms or begrudgingly falling to sleep in her crib for a restless nap with lots of wake ups due to coughing. But, she's a little trooper. When she's not tired, she's acting like her same ole cute lil' self! Her appetite is still good and she's giving out a ton of smiles. Mommy's thankful for that! Daddy says she sounds like a little piggy with her congested nose... I agree! But she sure is one cute little congested piggy!

Last night was a little rough. She normally sleeps 10 hours straight but was up two times before 10:30 PM. At 2:30 she woke up with a "had to change the pajamas" messy diaper and a fever of 100.3. After cleaning up the mess, administering some Tylenol, and feeding her a bottle, she fell asleep in my arms until about 3:30 AM. She was up for about an hour and a half until out of sheer exhaustion she feel asleep in her crib. Thankfully, she slept until about 8:20 AM. Whew! Her schedule is all outta whack, but I'm just trying to get her rest and fluids... so I am not watching the clock today!

I always knew this day would come. "One day Mackenna will have a fever," Dustin often told me when I was worried about her getting sick in her early days of life. I was sure that they day she did have a fever that I would be a nervous wreck. But, by God's grace, I'm not. God has once again given me the grace to handle her sickness without being in an anxious frenzy. Praise be to God! I don't deserve His grace, yet in my time of need, He pours it out on me in a way that I can't even describe. My heart is not anxious AT ALL. That is a HUGE deal for me! Only by God's grace... truly!

Well, my little piggy is sleeping now... I should scurry and get some work done. To God be the glory!

"The Great Baby Clean-up"

Today I had to stop by Dustin's work to make some copies and get our home mortgage application ready to be sent back to the bank. While we were there, Mackenna got hungry. While she was eating, she filled her pants. And, her diaper leaked... BIG time! So, I scrounged around in my diaper bag, got her changing pad out, got the wipes out, felt around for a diaper... felt around some more... dug in some pockets... NO DIAPER! Yikes! I had a package of size 1 diapers in the car (Mackenna wears size 2)... So, Dustin, so graciously offered to go out and get a diaper while I began the "Great Baby Clean-up." While very carefully removing Mackenna's onesie, I grabbed the wipes to begin cleaning her off and discovered... that was the last wipe! Double YIKES! Dustin brought in the diaper and I just looked at him and said, "I'm outta wipes!" Luckily I keep my car fully stocked with Wet Ones... they were better than paper towels. So, long story short... Mackenna cleaned up nicely... small diaper and all... and I learned, once again, to always check and make sure my diaper bag is fully loaded. :-) I love being a mommy! Even on the "poopy" days!

Unofficially Rolling Over...both ways!

Our darling Mackenna Grace has been rolling from her back-to-belly since she was only 3 1/2 months old. I've been expecting for her belly-to-back roll to make it's presence but it just hasn't been happening. Well... it's appeared... sort of! This morning she heard my voice when I came to get her out of her crib and she accidently rolled over. I thought, "Hmmm... I wonder if I can get her to accidently roll over enough that she'll just get some muscle memory and do it on her own." So we practiced a lot today! With the help of "Barry the Bluebird" I was able to tempt her by dangling "Barry" over her head and then...ooops... she'd accidently roll over.

We'll practice again tomorrow... hopefully she'll be doing it on her own by the end of the week. She's also pretty close to rolling from back-to-belly on her right side. Usually she just rolls to her left to get onto her belly. She must be getting stronger! I'm glad because she is so fussy lately. I think she's frusterated because her mind wants to do more than her body is capable of... bring on the mobility! I know, I know... once she's crawling I will miss theses days.... but right now... I am still looking forward to seeing her crawl around the house.

I Love You, Little One

A couple of weekends ago, on one of our date nights, Dustin and I went to Borders bookstore and bought a couple of books for Mackenna. My favorite one that we  bought her is called, I Love You, Little One, by innovativeKids. It is a really neat book that you can add your own photos to. Anyway... I really love the book and I wanted to share it on my blog....

To my precious, Mackenna.

I Love You, Little One

If love were something you could count and you were seeking the amount that adds up to my love for you, here is what you'd have to do....

Count every tiny grain of sand on every shore in every land.
Then add to that the quantity of stars in every galaxy.
Plus tally up each leaf you find on every tree and bush combined.
Count every scale on every fish from every ocean if you wish.

To that you'll add infinity-
you could add all your life, you see,
and still your counting won't be done.
I love you that much, little one.

Changing Focus

This challenge by John Piper in his book, What's the Difference?, has really, really convicted me and made me see that my focus is so completely wrong. I pray that God would give me the grace to have a heart that finds joy in living my life only for His purposes and His glory.

Challenge #13
"That you develop a wartime mentality and lifestyle; that you never forget that life is short, billions of people hand in the balance of Heaven and Hell every day, that the love of money is spiritual suicide, that the goals of upward mobility (nicer clothes, cars, houses, vacations, food, hobbies) are a poor and dangerous substitute for the goals of living for Christ with all your might and maximizing y our joy in ministry to people's needs."

Moving... Again!

We're buying a house! Some friends of ours were selling their house so we decided to take a look, figuring we'd just look to get some house hunting under our belts before we purchased a house next Spring/Summer. But we loved the house and loved the price and loved the LOW interest rates that the bank offered us... so we crunched the numbers, talked about it... a lot... and bought the house! We'll close on October 12th and hopefully move in shortly after that. Whew! Mackenna will have moved twice in the first 6 months of her life! Hopefully we'll be in the house for a few years... finally a somewhat permanent home... with a washer and dryer (that's what I am most excited about!).

So, first step in packing is.... going through the closets and really working on getting rid of non-essentials. I love being organized and clutter free and we just seem to accumulate so many things... that we don't need. So, I'm posting a few ads on Craigslist and also making "Garage Sale" boxes so that next Spring I can have my very first garage sale!

We are so thankful that God allowed all the pieces to fall into place and we're looking forward to using our new home to glorify Him! We don't deserve His blessings, yet He pours them out on us. What an amazing and gracious God we serve!

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child... and Happy Mama!

So, one of the biggest challenges I have faced as a new mother is having a beautiful baby girl who doesn't like to nap. Over the past four months I have been so overwhelmed because I have almost no time to get anything done around the house. Mackenna is what some call a catnapper. Well, I did a lot of research and most things I read said, "Just get used to it. Some babies nap well, other babies don't." One thing I am is a problem solver and that answer just did not give me any hope. I kept thinking to myself, "There's got to be something out there that can help me teach my daughter to nap well!" And thus, I discovered, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth M.D. His advice is so practical and he offers a variety of solutions based on  your child's temperment, prior sleep patterns, and age. Mackenna was a mildly colicky baby and he explains that colicky children don't nap well at an early age so they actually become generally overtired so the sleep that they do get is not as restorative as the sleep of a well-rested infant. He gives great tips on how to handle an overtired, post-colicky baby and after applying his advice... Mackenna's become a napper. A great napper, at that!

So all this to say, this is my new book recommendation for all pregnant women and new moms!  I am thankful to God who has given us all good things, including minds like Marc Weissbluth's that can study and write and help sleep deprived new mothers!

08.13.10

So, this week was slightly hectic. Mackenna has a problem with acid reflux. She was on Zantac, and while that improved her spit-up and overall fussiness, she was still showing indications of uncomfort related to acid reflux. So, her doctor thought we should give Prevacid a try. It's a stronger medication. Well, we couldn't get Mackenna to take it. More ended up on her outfit than in her stomach. So, while the Zantac didn't work completely, it worked better than the Prevacid because she would take it. Mid-week I called Mackenna's nurse with a very fussy baby as background noise. I explained the situation and the nurse said we could switch back to Zantac, but that Mackenna's doctor wanted to increase the Zantac dose. So, we're back to Zantac! Most babies outgrow acid reflux between 6-9 months, so we're praying that Mackenna's battle with acid reflux will be over soon!

Today, August 13, 2010 is Mackenna's Four Month Old Birthday! Happy Four Months, Mackenna Grace! Other than not napping well, she had a great day! She had lots of smiles and giggles all day long! Something new that Mackenna's learned how to do over the past week or so... SQUEAL! When she gets excited, she squeals. When she starts to giggle, she squeals. When she's thinking about giggling, she squeals. When she sees her Duckie Rattle, she squeals. She loves practicing her squeal. Mommy loves seeing the look on her face after she squeals. Her thought progression goes something like this..."Wow, that was a cool noise. Did I do that? I think I did! I think I want to do it again! Yep, I did it again. I am sure it is me! Now I am so excited I am going to stick out my tongue and kick my feet!" I love her! I love being a stay-at-home mom (yes, even on the rough days... like... um...yesterday)!

Mackenna loves rolling over onto her belly... but she can't quite get how to roll back over... although she has done it on her own twice... on accident both times! Hopefully soon she'll be rolling back to front and front to back. She likes to try to sit up when I put her in her bouncer, swing, and car seat. Obviously she can't sit on her own yet, but she sure tries! She loves when we help her sit up on her playmat! She'll usually end up playing with her feet and looking up at us like, "Wow, do you guys have these feet things too? They're awesome! You should play with them sometime!"

Mommy had a good day too! I got some GREAT deals at Kohl's. Overall, I got $100 worth of baby clothes for only $30! Hooray for two 15% off coupons, $20 in Kohl's Cash, AND a great sale! A lot of the clothes I got for Mackenna are 6-9 months... I can't wait for her to wear them! I also got a chance to work out again today! That makes 3 days this week. My legs are SO sore and all I am doing is the Elliptical! I can't wait to get back in shape! I feel so much better when I work out and eat healthy. Now, I've started the working out part.... still need to work on the eating healthy part! Ugh! Why does chocolate ice cream have to taste SO good?!?

Well, it's Friday night, Mackenna's asleep, and I don't HAVE to clean bottles until tomorrow morning... so I think I'll bid you adieu and go spend some time with my hubby!

Womb with a View

Click here to view this photo book larger

08.10.10

The past few days, Mackenna has been a little more irritable than usual and has not been napping well at all. She had finally gotten into a good napping schedule and I could pretty much count on a 2.5 hour nap every morning and an hour nap in the afternoon. Well, she must be growing or something because her internal clock has changed once again and I am left to figure out her new biological rhythm. But, I am so thankful that I am able to be home with her and learn how to take care of her at each new stage.

So, today we're trying a longer wake time with lots of exercise! Dustin put together her Fisher Price Jumperoo on Sunday evening and she loves playing in it. She'll keep herself content for about 10-15 minutes. That's pretty good! She doesn't particularly like it when we turn on the lights and sound though. She's content just jumping and playing with the colorful toys that shake, rattle, and roll!

Learning how to effectively take care of an infant and keep a household running has been quite a challenge for me. In my mind I envisioned that once I was at home I would have oodles of time to cook, clean, coupon, grocery shop, do laundry, and maybe even bake some bread! Reality is that it's a good day if the toys are cleaned up and the bottles are sanitized before I go to bed. I am faced with the truth that I thought WAY too highly of myself, thinking that I would be able to perfectly execute being a stay-at-home wife and mother. One thing I will admit is that I have been guilty of laziness but I cleverly mask it by saying, "I am so tired and Mackenna's a high-maintenance baby... I deserve to just relax!" There is some truth there. I am very tired. And Mackenna is a relatively high-maintenance baby and also has some pain issues with Acid Reflux which makes her slightly more fussy. But, I still am called to be a godly wife and mother. I am very thankful for a husband who is so understanding and encourages me daily. He doesn't expect me to be perfect and he is very quick to remind me that he thinks I am doing a great job. Nevertheless, this is an area I need to grow in. If I know that Mackenna will nap for two hours, I need to be vigilant to make the most of those two hours!

Speaking of naps... the monitor has just indicated that my precious Mackenna has decided to wake up earlier than usual. Until next time!

08.05.10

Idolatry. One word, so many ways it is manifested in my heart. A wise man once said, "Our hearts are a factory of idols." Over the past few weeks, God's been challenging me to acknowledge idols in my life. Seeing God working, I immediately acknowledged the following idols in my life: Mackenna and Medical Websites. Now let me explain... I struggle with worry... most often about medical problems... used to worry about myself- now I worry about Mackenna. So, Mackenna has become an idol in my heart because when she is on track medically- I am happy. When she has an off day (let's say she doesn't eat as much, doesn't "coo" as much, or maybe smiles less)- then I worry. Is something wrong with her? Will she be ok? And I end up focusing all of my attention on trying to get her to do what I want her to do, rather than focusing on worshipping God. So, she's an idol in my heart. Now... medical websites... those I turn to for comfort. I quickly run to Google to answer all of my fears... "3 Month Old Refusing Bottle," "Is it normal for a 3 month old to have jerky arm movements?" and any other "fear" that pops into my mind. Usually, I end up getting a lot more than I bargained for and I discover diseases and disorders that I hadn't even known about... and then I worry...obsessively and compulsively. And then I Google more. And worry more. And Google more. And worry more. It's a vicious cycle and so I have proven... Medical Websites are an idol.

Now, what I wasn't so excited about doing was digging deeper. Sure, the above mentioned idols are valid and it is a good thing that God has shown me my folly and has helped me repent. But, beneath the obvious idols in my life, there lives a deeper, less tangible idol that has crept into every single part of my being and it wasn't until yesterday that I saw it and was shocked. I am a worshipper of ease. I want everything to be easy. I don't like doing hard things and I don't like when I don't get what I want. I have seen this so clearly over the past few months.

Being a stay-at-home mom is hard. Harder than I ever expected. So, my mind entertains thoughts of finding a daycare and going back to work full-time. Why? Because that would be EASIER. Also, having a child who is healthy is EASIER than having a child with medical problems. Which is why I get so anxious and worry so much about Mackenna. Going to Google and receiving data in .5 seconds is EASIER than humbling myself and bowing before the throne of God and working hard at thinking on things that are true and lovely.

Wow! I am so thankful for a God who doesn't just scratch the surface of our hearts but that rolls up His sleeves, scrubs in, and performs open heart surgery. It's always easier to battle an enemy that you can see. I am so thankful to God for revealing my worship of ease so that I can repent, ask for His help, and begin worshipping Him and doing hard things for His glory.

05.13.10

So, one month into motherhood and oh, what lessons I am learning! It was one month ago today that God began teaching me about expectations. All throughout my pregnancy I looked forward to meeting our daughter. I wanted to have a completely  natural labor and delivery, but understood that in an emergency, a Cesarean section may be required. But, I never expected there to be an emergency. Sure, my worry-prone mind feared the worst, but I never really thought that anything would go wrong. I also never expected four days of "pre-labor." It's called pre-labor because you get all the pain of real contractions without any progress towards having a baby. What joy! But, I was excited because my body was doing something. Not what I expected, but still, something! I also didn't expect to be sent home twice from the hospital with "false" labor. Again, not false labor, just pre-labor. All the pain, NO gain! I didn't expect to have to be induced before  my due date. My wonderful doctor understood that all the "pre-labor" was wearing me out and wanted to help me along! He's a great doctor!

So, in the wee hours of Tuesday, April 13th I was admitted into the hospital with the plan of inducing labor at 7:00am. To make a long story short, Mackenna's heart rate stayed down between the "real" and "strong" contractions that were induced by Pitocin. So, I was wheeled into the O.R. for a Cesarean section. Nothing what I was expecting. Then Mackenna had a fever right away after she was born, so she was taken immediately to the NICU for observation. I always pictured nursing her immediately after birth in our hospital room, having her "room-in" with us and being pleasantly awoken by all of her newborn baby sleep sounds. Another expectation bites the dust! After confirming that she had an infection, we were told she'd need to stay in the NICU for 10 days. Wait! Wasn't I supposed to be bringing my beautiful daughter home after our standard 48-hour hospital stay? If you haven't guessed it already... another expectation down the drain!

Now, I may sound slightly sarcastic, but please don't mistake that for bitterness. God truly gave me the grace that I needed to handle these circumstances in a way that, I think, overall, brought Him glory. There were moments of tears, simply because of disappointment. But through it all, I was reminded of God's amazing wisdom and love and His complete sovereignty over every situation.

Since being home, God has shown me that I need to grow tremendously in trusting Him. Newborns do so many weird, albeit normal, things. Well, for a worrier, that leads to questions like, "Is that normal?" I've also found my mind is full of anxious, fearful, irrational thoughts. That's a noisy mind that is not focused on Christ and the joy of my salvation. **Enter wonderful, amazing, godly husband** My husband gave me an assignment after I had gotten my stomach tied up in knots searching the Internet to learn about newborn emergencies/diseases. He told me, "Trisha, do not go on the Internet. When we get off the phone, find a couple of Bible verse, memorize them, and be ready to talk to me about them when I get home." So, I'll admit. I looked at one more website after my phone call with my husband, but immediately after that, I began meditating on the following verses.

"The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, because he trusts in You. Trust in the LORD forever, for in GOD we have an everlasting Rock." Isaiah 26:3-4

"From the end of the earth I cry out to you when my heart is faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I." Psalm 61:2

From this I learned the following:

• God is the only everlasting Rock. I cannot depend on anything else to stabilize and sustain me. Mackenna cannot be my rock. I can't be dependent on her for my happiness and peace. God is everlasting and constant. He is dependable and never-changing. He is always there, will always be there, and has always been there.
• I am not an expert. There is a rock that is higher than I. I am a weak & finite and my thinking is sometimes, shall I say, irrational. I need to humble myself, admit my need, and cry out to the rock that is higher than I, my Lord, and Savior, Christ.

Lots of great lessons in such a short amount of time. Our God is so great, so strong and so mighty, there's nothing our God cannot do!

04.21.10

Life in the NICU is flying by. It's hard to believe that in only two short days, Lord willing, we will be bringing our precious Mackenna home! She is doing so great! God is answering our prayers for healing and continued progress and we are so thankful!

I have been spending the days here in the NICU with Mackenna and learning her schedule (or should I say lack-of a schedule). I help the nurses take her temperature and change her diaper before feedings and have learned how to effectively swaddle her to keep her calm between feedings. One other thing that I have learned about our little girl... she LOVES being sung to. It doesn't matter what you sing to her, she just loves it! I made up my own little song for her... I'd like to think it's her favorite, but she also is happy when mommy sings her hymns or just hums a little tune. She's even smiled a couple of times while I was singing to her (ok, maybe it was gas, but still). I have also had a great time reading to her and rocking with her. While the time here in NICU has been special I am looking forward to her homecoming.

We have been so blessed by all of the NICU nurses. We have learned so many practical tips and wise pieces of advice... it's priceless! We've enjoyed spending time getting to know each of our nurses and visiting with them while we feed and care for Mackenna. They are truly special women in our hearts. We will always remember them and be thankful for the thorough and tender way that they have cared for Mackenna Grace. It will be hard to say goodbye to our new friends. They've told me already to make sure to bring Mackenna by from time-to-time for a visit. I think that she has a special place in their hearts as well.

Well, I think I have about an hour that I can sneak in a quick nap before Mackenna is hungry again. One thing everyone has told me is, "Sleep when the baby sleeps!" So, I guess I should listen to their advice!

Welcome Mackenna Grace!

Introducing Mackenna Grace
Born on April 13, 2010 at 10:14 A.M.
7 pounds 1 ounce and 19 1/2 inches long

I went into "pre-labor" on Friday, April 9th and we were sent home from the hospital on April 9th and April 10th for lack of progress. On April 12th around 1:00 AM we came to the hospital due to contractions that were closer together and were admitted! Praise the Lord! The plan was to be given Pitocin at 7:00 AM because my contractions still were not strong enough. At about 6:00 AM we were woken with a room full of nurses due to a serious deceleration of Mackenna's heartbeat. After finding baby's heartbeat again via an internal monitor, we were both watched very closely by our amazing nurses! Around 9:35 AM after another concerning deceleration of Mackenna's heartbeat the doctor called and said that the labor was causing too much stress on baby and ordered an imminent (but not emergency) C-section. At 10:14 AM, Mackenna Grace, was born! She is beautiful!

When she was born, she had a fever and was sent to observation in the NICU. Thankfully, I was allowed to nurse her and they would bring her to our room to feed. Her first round of blood work came back borderline, so the did another round later in the day, which showed an increase in a protein that indicated an infection. She was immediately put on antibiotics and was admitted to the NICU. Now, we are going to her for her feedings due to an IV in her umbilical cord and to decrease the risk of a secondary infection. She is doing great! Her temperature is staying around normal and when it is "high" it only hangs out around 99 degrees. She is eating well, responding well, and is known by the nurses as a "happy and alert baby."What joy that brings to a mother's heart! I have also been informed that she's won the "Cute Baby Girl" award. :-)
The plan is to keep her in the NICU and on antibiotics for 10 days. We are waiting for results back from a 48 hour blood culture that will tell us what type of infection we're fighting. We'll find that out on Friday morning. Her initial lumbar puncture screening came back normal, which is a HUGE praise! That means that the infection hasn't reached her brain. Right now, they only see infection in her lungs.

God's sovereignty has been so evident to us over the past few days. First, our doctor arrived to check on us right as Mackenna's first heart deceleration occurred and in the scariness of those few moments, it was a blessing to know that our doctor was there. I was on penicillin during labor due to a positive Group B Strep test and Mackenna's doctor said that she received both doses and that probably helped her start fighting the infection sooner. There was no way that we could have planned that, but God knew, and we are thankful. Also, the fact that I am able to breast feed and that Mackenna is eating so well. The colostrum will give her lots of nutrients to help fight the infection. Then, the Lactation Consultant said that my colostrum was very thick and rich, which is GREAT! Again, another blessing from God. Obviously I have no control over the quality of my colostrum! Another thing is that Mackenna was just assigned a hospital pediatrician because the pediatrician that we chose works with a different medical group. Well, the doctor that was assigned to care for Mackenna is so caring, compassionate, and thorough. She does not want to leave anything unknown. So, she's been taking extra steps to check every possible problem and to get Mackenna healthy. She wisely decided to do a second round of blood work, even though Mackenna's first round was only "borderline." We are so overwhelmed by God's obvious hand in this situation. Praise the Lord!

Dustin and I have already started growing together as parents and it such a huge blessing to see our relationship deepen in Christ as we care for our daughter!

I will be posting lots of pictures and updates as we continue on this journey of parenthood. To God be the glory!

All Because Two People Fell In Love

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04.09.10

So exciting... more pictures of Mackenna...

Yesterday I had a doctor's appointment and he couldn't tell if she was head down and in position, so I got a surprise ultrasound and the ultrasound tech gave me an extra glimpse of our little girl. What a blessing!

04.06.10

The Re-institution of Date Night

So, I'll just be honest, we haven't done the best job of "dating" after marriage. Before seminary we had most of our evenings free and would spend lots of time together. Since we've started seminary, we still do spend time together and enjoy activities together, but it's rather sporadic and not "planned" or "focused" time together. Well, as you know, we are days away from becoming first-time parents and the realization that our time of being foot-loose and fancy-free is dwindling has us realizing the importance of "planned" and "focused" time together. So, we re-intituted Date Night. It's been fun! Here are a few pictures!

Date #1: Dinner at Chick-fil-A and a stroll on the Levy

03.30.10

Keeping the right perspective. Or better said, keeping a Biblical perspective. Sounds like a simple goal. Everything is so clear to me when I am in God's Word or in prayer. While reflecting on my day, I see how I should have responded differently to certain situations. It becomes obvious to me that the reason that I didn't respond correctly is because I had the wrong perspective. My mind was dwelling on the wrong things. I had the wrong priority. Now, my question is, why is it so hard for me to see that while I am in the heat of the battle? Why is it easier for me to see my selfishness at the end of the day, after wrong choices have already been made and I have failed to respond in a way that pleases God? It is certainly humbling.

I am thinking of this past Sunday morning. As I was getting ready for church, I was anything but joyful. I had gotten up early and decided to do some things around the house. Then I lost track of time and was rushed as I was getting ready. When I finally was ready, we opened the garage door to see a downpour of rain. As I grabbed the umbrella and tried to open it, I quickly discovered that it was defective. That's pretty much when I lost it. One thing I've notice about pregnancy is that my emotions never gradually escalate. I go from slightly annoyed to frustrated beyond belief in about...um... 2 seconds! So, my husband, being the kind gentleman that he is, pulled the car up real close to the garage for me. So, instead of being thankful, I was then frustrated that none of my shoes fit anymore (third trimester swelling) and I had to wear flip-flops in the rain. Again, my kind and gentle husband didn't say anything. He just patiently listened and even ran into a gas station on the way into town to pick up a newspaper so that I could start couponing. And as he re-entered the car with our local paper, instead of thanking him, I said, "The other paper has more coupons. I wanted the other one." And what did he do? He went back in, without hesitation, and purchased the newspaper from the closest metropolitan area. That's when I really should have been humbled and repented of my sour and ungodly attitude. But, I didn't.

Thankfully, God is patient. As we walked into church, late, there were still two isle seats (which lately have been essential for me as our darling daughter lowers herself and presses on mommy's bladder). That was blessing #1. Then, our worship pastor had a whole morning of songs about the cross. That was blessing #2. THEN, sprinkled in with the worship time, one of the members of the worship team read Isaiah 53. That was blessing #3 and the straw that broke the camel's back. My sin hit me square in the face and everything I had gotten so upset about that morning became completely worthless. My heart felt overcome with joy as God helped me to see my sin the way that He sees it and repent of my self-focus. I felt lighter, joyful, and excited to be worshipping the Lord of the universe. Later on in Sunday School, I leaned over and asked for Dustin's forgiveness. And of course, he forgave me with a sweet smile on his face and a look of joy in his beautiful blue eyes. My husband is amazing!

Now, I just long for that perspective all the time! I wish I ALWAYS saw my sin the way that God sees it, instead of after hours of acting and thinking ungodly. I know that sanctification is progressive and I am extremely thankful that God is working in my heart to bring me to a better place with this. I am so excited that God is allowing me to clearly see areas that I need to change. I am just not very patient. I want growth to happen overnight. But it doesn't; and that is OK. Today, I can be thankful that God chose to reveal areas that I sinned and that I can repent, ask forgiveness from God and the appropriate people, and change a little bit today. God doesn't expect perfection, but He does expect me to be changing and growing. I am thankful for a God who cares enough about me to give me opportunities to grow and who gives me the grace that I need to repent and change.

03.09.10

Today I read Isaiah 2-4 and was reminded of God's supremecy in a big way. I just want to share some things that stuck out to me while being blessed by God's Word today. I've bolded some verses for emphasis and have added my comments in italics. I pray that God may bless you as well with Isaiah 2.

" The word that Isaiah the son of Amoz saw concerning Judah and Jerusalem. It shall come to pass in the latter days that the mountain of the house of the Lord shall be established as the highest of the mountains, and shall be lifted up above the hills; and all the nations shall flow to it, and many peoples shall come, and say: “Come, let us go up to the mountain of the Lord, to the house of the God of Jacob, that he may teach us his ways and that we may walk in his paths.” For out of Zion shall go the law, and the word of the Lord from Jerusalem. He shall judge between the nations, and shall decide disputes for many peoples; and they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruning hooks; nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war anymore. O house of Jacob, come, let us walk in the light of the Lord. For you have rejected your people, the house of Jacob, because they are full of things from the east and of fortune-tellers like the Philistines, and they strike hands with the children of foreigners. Their land is filled with silver and gold, and there is no end to their treasures; their land is filled with horses, and there is no end to their chariots. Their land is filled with idols; they bow down to the work of their hands, to what their own fingers have made. So man is humbled, and each one is brought low (This is a good reminder of what we're really doing when we worship anything or anyone besides the Lord. We are worshipping the work of our hands; something that is imperfect; something that has so little value; I pray that God would help me remember how vain idolatry truly is) — do not forgive them! Enter into the rock and hide in the dust from before the terror of the Lord, and from the splendor of his majesty. The haughty looks of man shall be brought low, and the lofty pride of men shall be humbled, and the Lord alone will be exalted in that day. For the Lord of hosts has a day against all that is proud and lofty, against all that is lifted up—and it shall be brought low; against all the cedars of Lebanon, lofty and lifted up; and against all the oaks of Bashan; against all the lofty mountains, and against all the uplifted hills; against every high tower, and against every fortified wall; against all the ships of Tarshish, and against all the beautiful craft. And the haughtiness of man shall be humbled, and the lofty pride of men shall be brought low, and the Lord alone will be exalted in that day. And the idols shall utterly pass away. And people shall enter the caves of the rocks and the holes of the ground, from before the terror of the Lord, and from the splendor of his majesty, when he rises to terrify the earth. In that day mankind will cast away their idols of silver and their idols of gold, which they made for themselves to worship, to the moles and to the bats, to enter the caverns of the rocks and the clefts of the cliffs, from before the terror of the Lord, and from the splendor of his majesty, when he rises to terrify the earth. Stop regarding man in whose nostrils is breath, for of what account is he?" (Isaiah 2, ESV)

[1] The Holy Bible : English Standard Version. Wheaton : Standard Bible Society, 2001

03.02.10

The purpose of this particular blog is to 1)Be transparent and 2)To share how God is working in my life and hopefully be an encouragement to someone who may be in the same place that I am right now.

"Yes, I am really that weak!"

The above statement is my quote of the week. Isn't it awesome how our Lord gets our attention when we are far from Him? Over the past two and a half years I have learned a lot about my relationship with God. One thing I have learned is that when life gets busy, my relationship with God gets neglected, by my own choice. I willfully, and sinfully, choose to pursue things other than God when my time is limited. What that really reveals is that my priorities are completely backwards! When I have time, I dig deep into God's Word, meditate on it, and spend time in prayer. But, when 40 hours of my week is devoted to work, what do I choose to do with "my" time? To be honest, I have been choosing to do things of very little value with the limited time that I have. And, what is the by-product of pursuing worthless things? Emptiness, along with pride and a self-focus that becomes enslaving. And that is where I find myself this week. Hence, my quote of the week, "Yes, I am really that weak!" Or perhaps, more appropriate would be, "Yes, I am really that sinful, STILL!" Nothing breaks your pride quicker than when God allows you to see your sin as He sees it. Sin truly is disgusting, shameful, and rotten. This week, God has helped me see my sin

You may be asking, "Well, Trisha, your husband is in seminary; you work at a Christian school; you are going to be a pastor's wife; how in the world could you let your heart get so far from God?" My answer would have to be, "Because, I am that sinful...still." In the next breath, I would add, "But God is not finished with me yet." It's not like I have been completely ignorant of the fact that I have been struggling to have the relationship with God that I know I should have. Really, what gets us to where we are at spiritually are the small steps, the little choices, whether good or bad. Just like the small bad choices lead our hearts away from God, repentence and small good choices is what helps us draw close to Him again. Don't get me wrong, there have been times in the past 2.5 years that I have been in the Word and in prayer and have grown and changed. There have been steps of growth; but I have consistently struggled to stay in God's Word, abide in Christ, deepen my prayer life, and live in light of my salvation in Christ. My heart and mind has consistenly been divided; which has brought me to where I am today.

This week I had a great talk with a great friend who is so very good at directing me back to God. I am very thankful for her wisdom. I am thankful to God for giving me a friend who is not afraid to admonish me in love. She lovingly reminded me that although I am busy and tired, I am still making a choice to pursue things other than my relationship with God. She challenged me to be aware of my choices and to begin choosing to spend my time getting to know my Savior again by being in His Word consistently, but also (and often neglected), spending time in prayer, communicating with Him. You know those weeks when life is busy beyond your wildest imagination and the only words that you utter to your husband (or wife) is a sleepy, "Goodnight" a groggy, "Good morning..." and a half-hearted, "I love you."? If you're married, you'll be able to agree with me, that at the end of those weeks, you feel distant from your husband. You miss him. You want to know how he's doing; you want to share something exciting that happened to you; you want to tell him about something that is concerning you. God's really helped me see that communicating with Him is similar to the communication in the other relationships in our lives. If communication doesn't happen, the relationship begins deteriorating. Having a real-life illustration of that has helped me understand the importance of prayer. But, because "I am really that weak," I still have to ask for God's help to spend time in His Word and in prayer.

I am very thankful that God has helped me to see significant ares that I need to grow in. My prayer right now is that God would help me to have a humble heart and that I would repent quickly when He shows me my sin. I am thankful that God, the creator of the universe, would send Jesus Christ to bear the wrath that I deserve so that my relationship to God could be restored so that He can shape and mold me to be one of His own.

His Forever by Sovereign Grace Music

Jesus, friend of sinners
Loved me ’ere I knew Him
Drew me with His cords of love
Tightly bound me to Him
’Round my heart still closely twined
The ties that none can sever
For I am His and He is mine
Forever and forever

Jesus, friend of sinners
A crown of thorns You wore for me
Bruised for my transgressions
Pierced for my iniquities
The wrath of God that I deserved
Was poured out on the Innocent
He took my place, my soul to save
Now I am His forever

Jesus, friend of sinners
I love to tell the story
Redeeming love has been my theme
And will be when in glory
Not death nor life nor anything
Can ever separate me
O love that will not let me go
Yes, I am His forever

Ultrasound Video

27 Week Ultrasound of Mackenna Grace taken on 01.13.10

02.23.10

Tomorrow I will be finishing up my 33rd week of pregnancy! Time sure has flown by! Today when we were grocery shopping I bought some yogurt and told Dustin, "Do you realize that I will be on maternity leave before this yogurt goes bad?!?" I am sure that next week's grocery shopping will include an item with an expiration date beyond my due date... crazy! Since I have just started this blog, I thought I would post some pictures of our precious Mackenna Grace. The first two are from my 27 week ultrasound and the second one is from my 19week ultrasound. We may be bias, but we think she's pretty beautiful already!

02.20.10

Believe it or not, it was another busy week for the Folden family. Dustin had a couple meetings, his community center work shift, and taught on Friday night at Purdue Bible Fellowship and then supervised an all-night lock-in. Today, Saturday, is Dustin's all-day community center shift. He is going to be a tired boy when he gets home this evening.

How did I spend my evenings this week? Well, honestly, I slept. I have been finding much joy in sleeping lately. Working all day seems to zap the energy right out of me during the last trimester of my pregnancy. I wasn't ever really exhausted until now. I can't believe how tired I have been getting lately. But, my schedule has allowed me to usually get to bed by 8pm. I feel old!

I am now almost 33 weeks along in the pregnancy. That means we only have about 7 weeks left! While I feel exhausted most of the time, I also feel bursts of energy and an almost frantic urge to have everything ready for Mackenna's arrival (including having everything at work prepared for my maternity leave). If you mix the long list of "To Do before Baby Arrives" with the unpredictable emotions that seem to have crept up on me over the last few weeks and there are times when I feel extremely overwhelmed. I now understand the phrase, "I could cry at the drop of a hat." It wouldn't even have to be my hat, or a hat of my favorite sports team; if it dropped, I could cry! At times, I feel like an over-tired two year old. Of course, being the mature 25 year old woman that I am, I limit my whining and pouting. Usually, it's only Dustin who has the pleasure of seeing me whine and pout. And he usually just smiles, tries not to laugh, and gives me a big hug. Hugs from Dustin have been able to calm me, even on my more emotional days.

As we count down the days until our precious girl's arrival, we are continued to be overflowing with thankfulness to God for this pregnancy. We are reminded more each day about the importance of our relationships with Christ as we prepare for parenthood. I am faced with the reality that I will fail miserably without a humble dependence on God. Humility is definitely something I need to grow in. I am thankful that God is patient with me and doesn't give up on me, despite my utter depravity. I am thaknful that through Christ, I am no longer under God's wrath; I can have a genuine relationship with the Creator of the universe and can, by His grace, grow to be more like Christ. It's so easy to get distracted. Even this week, I started out meditating on God's Word and exciting about growing and changing, and by week's end I felt discouraged and discontent. What happened? My focus shifted from being on God to being completely on myself. My prayer for today is that God would help me refocus on Him and find my joy in the relationship that I have with Him through Christ.