So, this week was slightly hectic. Mackenna has a problem with acid reflux. She was on Zantac, and while that improved her spit-up and overall fussiness, she was still showing indications of uncomfort related to acid reflux. So, her doctor thought we should give Prevacid a try. It's a stronger medication. Well, we couldn't get Mackenna to take it. More ended up on her outfit than in her stomach. So, while the Zantac didn't work completely, it worked better than the Prevacid because she would take it. Mid-week I called Mackenna's nurse with a very fussy baby as background noise. I explained the situation and the nurse said we could switch back to Zantac, but that Mackenna's doctor wanted to increase the Zantac dose. So, we're back to Zantac! Most babies outgrow acid reflux between 6-9 months, so we're praying that Mackenna's battle with acid reflux will be over soon!
Today, August 13, 2010 is Mackenna's Four Month Old Birthday! Happy Four Months, Mackenna Grace! Other than not napping well, she had a great day! She had lots of smiles and giggles all day long! Something new that Mackenna's learned how to do over the past week or so... SQUEAL! When she gets excited, she squeals. When she starts to giggle, she squeals. When she's thinking about giggling, she squeals. When she sees her Duckie Rattle, she squeals. She loves practicing her squeal. Mommy loves seeing the look on her face after she squeals. Her thought progression goes something like this..."Wow, that was a cool noise. Did I do that? I think I did! I think I want to do it again! Yep, I did it again. I am sure it is me! Now I am so excited I am going to stick out my tongue and kick my feet!" I love her! I love being a stay-at-home mom (yes, even on the rough days... like... um...yesterday)!
Mackenna loves rolling over onto her belly... but she can't quite get how to roll back over... although she has done it on her own twice... on accident both times! Hopefully soon she'll be rolling back to front and front to back. She likes to try to sit up when I put her in her bouncer, swing, and car seat. Obviously she can't sit on her own yet, but she sure tries! She loves when we help her sit up on her playmat! She'll usually end up playing with her feet and looking up at us like, "Wow, do you guys have these feet things too? They're awesome! You should play with them sometime!"
Mommy had a good day too! I got some GREAT deals at Kohl's. Overall, I got $100 worth of baby clothes for only $30! Hooray for two 15% off coupons, $20 in Kohl's Cash, AND a great sale! A lot of the clothes I got for Mackenna are 6-9 months... I can't wait for her to wear them! I also got a chance to work out again today! That makes 3 days this week. My legs are SO sore and all I am doing is the Elliptical! I can't wait to get back in shape! I feel so much better when I work out and eat healthy. Now, I've started the working out part.... still need to work on the eating healthy part! Ugh! Why does chocolate ice cream have to taste SO good?!?
Well, it's Friday night, Mackenna's asleep, and I don't HAVE to clean bottles until tomorrow morning... so I think I'll bid you adieu and go spend some time with my hubby!
Friday, August 13, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
08.10.10
The past few days, Mackenna has been a little more irritable than usual and has not been napping well at all. She had finally gotten into a good napping schedule and I could pretty much count on a 2.5 hour nap every morning and an hour nap in the afternoon. Well, she must be growing or something because her internal clock has changed once again and I am left to figure out her new biological rhythm. But, I am so thankful that I am able to be home with her and learn how to take care of her at each new stage.
So, today we're trying a longer wake time with lots of exercise! Dustin put together her Fisher Price Jumperoo on Sunday evening and she loves playing in it. She'll keep herself content for about 10-15 minutes. That's pretty good! She doesn't particularly like it when we turn on the lights and sound though. She's content just jumping and playing with the colorful toys that shake, rattle, and roll!
Learning how to effectively take care of an infant and keep a household running has been quite a challenge for me. In my mind I envisioned that once I was at home I would have oodles of time to cook, clean, coupon, grocery shop, do laundry, and maybe even bake some bread! Reality is that it's a good day if the toys are cleaned up and the bottles are sanitized before I go to bed. I am faced with the truth that I thought WAY too highly of myself, thinking that I would be able to perfectly execute being a stay-at-home wife and mother. One thing I will admit is that I have been guilty of laziness but I cleverly mask it by saying, "I am so tired and Mackenna's a high-maintenance baby... I deserve to just relax!" There is some truth there. I am very tired. And Mackenna is a relatively high-maintenance baby and also has some pain issues with Acid Reflux which makes her slightly more fussy. But, I still am called to be a godly wife and mother. I am very thankful for a husband who is so understanding and encourages me daily. He doesn't expect me to be perfect and he is very quick to remind me that he thinks I am doing a great job. Nevertheless, this is an area I need to grow in. If I know that Mackenna will nap for two hours, I need to be vigilant to make the most of those two hours!
Speaking of naps... the monitor has just indicated that my precious Mackenna has decided to wake up earlier than usual. Until next time!
So, today we're trying a longer wake time with lots of exercise! Dustin put together her Fisher Price Jumperoo on Sunday evening and she loves playing in it. She'll keep herself content for about 10-15 minutes. That's pretty good! She doesn't particularly like it when we turn on the lights and sound though. She's content just jumping and playing with the colorful toys that shake, rattle, and roll!
Learning how to effectively take care of an infant and keep a household running has been quite a challenge for me. In my mind I envisioned that once I was at home I would have oodles of time to cook, clean, coupon, grocery shop, do laundry, and maybe even bake some bread! Reality is that it's a good day if the toys are cleaned up and the bottles are sanitized before I go to bed. I am faced with the truth that I thought WAY too highly of myself, thinking that I would be able to perfectly execute being a stay-at-home wife and mother. One thing I will admit is that I have been guilty of laziness but I cleverly mask it by saying, "I am so tired and Mackenna's a high-maintenance baby... I deserve to just relax!" There is some truth there. I am very tired. And Mackenna is a relatively high-maintenance baby and also has some pain issues with Acid Reflux which makes her slightly more fussy. But, I still am called to be a godly wife and mother. I am very thankful for a husband who is so understanding and encourages me daily. He doesn't expect me to be perfect and he is very quick to remind me that he thinks I am doing a great job. Nevertheless, this is an area I need to grow in. If I know that Mackenna will nap for two hours, I need to be vigilant to make the most of those two hours!
Speaking of naps... the monitor has just indicated that my precious Mackenna has decided to wake up earlier than usual. Until next time!
Thursday, August 5, 2010
08.05.10
Idolatry. One word, so many ways it is manifested in my heart. A wise man once said, "Our hearts are a factory of idols." Over the past few weeks, God's been challenging me to acknowledge idols in my life. Seeing God working, I immediately acknowledged the following idols in my life: Mackenna and Medical Websites. Now let me explain... I struggle with worry... most often about medical problems... used to worry about myself- now I worry about Mackenna. So, Mackenna has become an idol in my heart because when she is on track medically- I am happy. When she has an off day (let's say she doesn't eat as much, doesn't "coo" as much, or maybe smiles less)- then I worry. Is something wrong with her? Will she be ok? And I end up focusing all of my attention on trying to get her to do what I want her to do, rather than focusing on worshipping God. So, she's an idol in my heart. Now... medical websites... those I turn to for comfort. I quickly run to Google to answer all of my fears... "3 Month Old Refusing Bottle," "Is it normal for a 3 month old to have jerky arm movements?" and any other "fear" that pops into my mind. Usually, I end up getting a lot more than I bargained for and I discover diseases and disorders that I hadn't even known about... and then I worry...obsessively and compulsively. And then I Google more. And worry more. And Google more. And worry more. It's a vicious cycle and so I have proven... Medical Websites are an idol.
Now, what I wasn't so excited about doing was digging deeper. Sure, the above mentioned idols are valid and it is a good thing that God has shown me my folly and has helped me repent. But, beneath the obvious idols in my life, there lives a deeper, less tangible idol that has crept into every single part of my being and it wasn't until yesterday that I saw it and was shocked. I am a worshipper of ease. I want everything to be easy. I don't like doing hard things and I don't like when I don't get what I want. I have seen this so clearly over the past few months.
Being a stay-at-home mom is hard. Harder than I ever expected. So, my mind entertains thoughts of finding a daycare and going back to work full-time. Why? Because that would be EASIER. Also, having a child who is healthy is EASIER than having a child with medical problems. Which is why I get so anxious and worry so much about Mackenna. Going to Google and receiving data in .5 seconds is EASIER than humbling myself and bowing before the throne of God and working hard at thinking on things that are true and lovely.
Wow! I am so thankful for a God who doesn't just scratch the surface of our hearts but that rolls up His sleeves, scrubs in, and performs open heart surgery. It's always easier to battle an enemy that you can see. I am so thankful to God for revealing my worship of ease so that I can repent, ask for His help, and begin worshipping Him and doing hard things for His glory.
Now, what I wasn't so excited about doing was digging deeper. Sure, the above mentioned idols are valid and it is a good thing that God has shown me my folly and has helped me repent. But, beneath the obvious idols in my life, there lives a deeper, less tangible idol that has crept into every single part of my being and it wasn't until yesterday that I saw it and was shocked. I am a worshipper of ease. I want everything to be easy. I don't like doing hard things and I don't like when I don't get what I want. I have seen this so clearly over the past few months.
Being a stay-at-home mom is hard. Harder than I ever expected. So, my mind entertains thoughts of finding a daycare and going back to work full-time. Why? Because that would be EASIER. Also, having a child who is healthy is EASIER than having a child with medical problems. Which is why I get so anxious and worry so much about Mackenna. Going to Google and receiving data in .5 seconds is EASIER than humbling myself and bowing before the throne of God and working hard at thinking on things that are true and lovely.
Wow! I am so thankful for a God who doesn't just scratch the surface of our hearts but that rolls up His sleeves, scrubs in, and performs open heart surgery. It's always easier to battle an enemy that you can see. I am so thankful to God for revealing my worship of ease so that I can repent, ask for His help, and begin worshipping Him and doing hard things for His glory.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
05.13.10
So, one month into motherhood and oh, what lessons I am learning! It was one month ago today that God began teaching me about expectations. All throughout my pregnancy I looked forward to meeting our daughter. I wanted to have a completely natural labor and delivery, but understood that in an emergency, a Cesarean section may be required. But, I never expected there to be an emergency. Sure, my worry-prone mind feared the worst, but I never really thought that anything would go wrong. I also never expected four days of "pre-labor." It's called pre-labor because you get all the pain of real contractions without any progress towards having a baby. What joy! But, I was excited because my body was doing something. Not what I expected, but still, something! I also didn't expect to be sent home twice from the hospital with "false" labor. Again, not false labor, just pre-labor. All the pain, NO gain! I didn't expect to have to be induced before my due date. My wonderful doctor understood that all the "pre-labor" was wearing me out and wanted to help me along! He's a great doctor!
So, in the wee hours of Tuesday, April 13th I was admitted into the hospital with the plan of inducing labor at 7:00am. To make a long story short, Mackenna's heart rate stayed down between the "real" and "strong" contractions that were induced by Pitocin. So, I was wheeled into the O.R. for a Cesarean section. Nothing what I was expecting. Then Mackenna had a fever right away after she was born, so she was taken immediately to the NICU for observation. I always pictured nursing her immediately after birth in our hospital room, having her "room-in" with us and being pleasantly awoken by all of her newborn baby sleep sounds. Another expectation bites the dust! After confirming that she had an infection, we were told she'd need to stay in the NICU for 10 days. Wait! Wasn't I supposed to be bringing my beautiful daughter home after our standard 48-hour hospital stay? If you haven't guessed it already... another expectation down the drain!
Now, I may sound slightly sarcastic, but please don't mistake that for bitterness. God truly gave me the grace that I needed to handle these circumstances in a way that, I think, overall, brought Him glory. There were moments of tears, simply because of disappointment. But through it all, I was reminded of God's amazing wisdom and love and His complete sovereignty over every situation.
Since being home, God has shown me that I need to grow tremendously in trusting Him. Newborns do so many weird, albeit normal, things. Well, for a worrier, that leads to questions like, "Is that normal?" I've also found my mind is full of anxious, fearful, irrational thoughts. That's a noisy mind that is not focused on Christ and the joy of my salvation. **Enter wonderful, amazing, godly husband** My husband gave me an assignment after I had gotten my stomach tied up in knots searching the Internet to learn about newborn emergencies/diseases. He told me, "Trisha, do not go on the Internet. When we get off the phone, find a couple of Bible verse, memorize them, and be ready to talk to me about them when I get home." So, I'll admit. I looked at one more website after my phone call with my husband, but immediately after that, I began meditating on the following verses.
"The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, because he trusts in You. Trust in the LORD forever, for in GOD we have an everlasting Rock." Isaiah 26:3-4
"From the end of the earth I cry out to you when my heart is faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I." Psalm 61:2
From this I learned the following:
So, in the wee hours of Tuesday, April 13th I was admitted into the hospital with the plan of inducing labor at 7:00am. To make a long story short, Mackenna's heart rate stayed down between the "real" and "strong" contractions that were induced by Pitocin. So, I was wheeled into the O.R. for a Cesarean section. Nothing what I was expecting. Then Mackenna had a fever right away after she was born, so she was taken immediately to the NICU for observation. I always pictured nursing her immediately after birth in our hospital room, having her "room-in" with us and being pleasantly awoken by all of her newborn baby sleep sounds. Another expectation bites the dust! After confirming that she had an infection, we were told she'd need to stay in the NICU for 10 days. Wait! Wasn't I supposed to be bringing my beautiful daughter home after our standard 48-hour hospital stay? If you haven't guessed it already... another expectation down the drain!
Now, I may sound slightly sarcastic, but please don't mistake that for bitterness. God truly gave me the grace that I needed to handle these circumstances in a way that, I think, overall, brought Him glory. There were moments of tears, simply because of disappointment. But through it all, I was reminded of God's amazing wisdom and love and His complete sovereignty over every situation.
Since being home, God has shown me that I need to grow tremendously in trusting Him. Newborns do so many weird, albeit normal, things. Well, for a worrier, that leads to questions like, "Is that normal?" I've also found my mind is full of anxious, fearful, irrational thoughts. That's a noisy mind that is not focused on Christ and the joy of my salvation. **Enter wonderful, amazing, godly husband** My husband gave me an assignment after I had gotten my stomach tied up in knots searching the Internet to learn about newborn emergencies/diseases. He told me, "Trisha, do not go on the Internet. When we get off the phone, find a couple of Bible verse, memorize them, and be ready to talk to me about them when I get home." So, I'll admit. I looked at one more website after my phone call with my husband, but immediately after that, I began meditating on the following verses.
"The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, because he trusts in You. Trust in the LORD forever, for in GOD we have an everlasting Rock." Isaiah 26:3-4
"From the end of the earth I cry out to you when my heart is faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I." Psalm 61:2
From this I learned the following:
- God is the only everlasting Rock. I cannot depend on anything else to stabilize and sustain me. Mackenna cannot be my rock. I can't be dependent on her for my happiness and peace. God is everlasting and constant. He is dependable and never-changing. He is always there, will always be there, and has always been there.
- I am not an expert. There is a rock that is higher than I. I am a weak & finite and my thinking is sometimes, shall I say, irrational. I need to humble myself, admit my need, and cry out to the rock that is higher than I, my Lord, and Savior, Christ.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
04.21.10
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I have been spending the days here in the NICU with Mackenna and learning her schedule (or should I say lack-of a schedule). I help the nurses take her temperature and change her diaper before feedings and have learned how to effectively swaddle her to keep her calm between feedings. One other thing that I have learned about our little girl... she LOVES being sung to. It doesn't matter what you sing to her, she just loves it! I made up my own little song for her... I'd like to think it's her favorite, but she also is happy when mommy sings her hymns or just hums a little tune. She's even smiled a couple of times while I was singing to her (ok, maybe it was gas, but still). I have also had a great time reading to her and rocking with her. While the time here in NICU has been special I am looking forward to her homecoming.
We have been so blessed by all of the NICU nurses. We have learned so many practical tips and wise pieces of advice... it's priceless! We've enjoyed spending time getting to know each of our nurses and visiting with them while we feed and care for Mackenna. They are truly special women in our hearts. We will always remember them and be thankful for the thorough and tender way that they have cared for Mackenna Grace. It will be hard to say goodbye to our new friends. They've told me already to make sure to bring Mackenna by from time-to-time for a visit. I think that she has a special place in their hearts as well.
Well, I think I have about an hour that I can sneak in a quick nap before Mackenna is hungry again. One thing everyone has told me is, "Sleep when the baby sleeps!" So, I guess I should listen to their advice!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Welcome Mackenna Grace!
Introducing Mackenna Grace
Born on April 13, 2010 at 10:14 A.M.
7 pounds 1 ounce and 19 1/2 inches long
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I went into "pre-labor" on Friday, April 9th and we were sent home from the hospital on April 9th and April 10th for lack of progress. On April 12th around 1:00 AM we came to the hospital due to contractions that were closer together and were admitted! Praise the Lord! The plan was to be given Pitocin at 7:00 AM because my contractions still were not strong enough. At about 6:00 AM we were woken with a room full of nurses due to a serious deceleration of Mackenna's heartbeat. After finding baby's heartbeat again via an internal monitor, we were both watched very closely by our amazing nurses! Around 9:35 AM after another concerning deceleration of Mackenna's heartbeat the doctor called and said that the labor was causing too much stress on baby and ordered an imminent (but not emergency) C-section. At 10:14 AM, Mackenna Grace, was born! She is beautiful!
When she was born, she had a fever and was sent to observation in the NICU. Thankfully, I was allowed to nurse her and they would bring her to our room to feed. Her first round of blood work came back borderline, so the did another round later in the day, which showed an increase in a protein that indicated an infection. She was immediately put on antibiotics and was admitted to the NICU. Now, we are going to her for her feedings due to an IV in her umbilical cord and to decrease the risk of a secondary infection. She is doing great! Her temperature is staying around normal and when it is "high" it only hangs out around 99 degrees. She is eating well, responding well, and is known by the nurses as a "happy and alert baby."What joy that brings to a mother's heart! I have also been informed that she's won the "Cute Baby Girl" award. :-)
The plan is to keep her in the NICU and on antibiotics for 10 days. We are waiting for results back from a 48 hour blood culture that will tell us what type of infection we're fighting. We'll find that out on Friday morning. Her initial lumbar puncture screening came back normal, which is a HUGE praise! That means that the infection hasn't reached her brain. Right now, they only see infection in her lungs.
God's sovereignty has been so evident to us over the past few days. First, our doctor arrived to check on us right as Mackenna's first heart deceleration occurred and in the scariness of those few moments, it was a blessing to know that our doctor was there. I was on penicillin during labor due to a positive Group B Strep test and Mackenna's doctor said that she received both doses and that probably helped her start fighting the infection sooner. There was no way that we could have planned that, but God knew, and we are thankful. Also, the fact that I am able to breast feed and that Mackenna is eating so well. The colostrum will give her lots of nutrients to help fight the infection. Then, the Lactation Consultant said that my colostrum was very thick and rich, which is GREAT! Again, another blessing from God. Obviously I have no control over the quality of my colostrum! Another thing is that Mackenna was just assigned a hospital pediatrician because the pediatrician that we chose works with a different medical group. Well, the doctor that was assigned to care for Mackenna is so caring, compassionate, and thorough. She does not want to leave anything unknown. So, she's been taking extra steps to check every possible problem and to get Mackenna healthy. She wisely decided to do a second round of blood work, even though Mackenna's first round was only "borderline." We are so overwhelmed by God's obvious hand in this situation. Praise the Lord!
Dustin and I have already started growing together as parents and it such a huge blessing to see our relationship deepen in Christ as we care for our daughter!
I will be posting lots of pictures and updates as we continue on this journey of parenthood. To God be the glory!
Born on April 13, 2010 at 10:14 A.M.
7 pounds 1 ounce and 19 1/2 inches long
.JPG)
I went into "pre-labor" on Friday, April 9th and we were sent home from the hospital on April 9th and April 10th for lack of progress. On April 12th around 1:00 AM we came to the hospital due to contractions that were closer together and were admitted! Praise the Lord! The plan was to be given Pitocin at 7:00 AM because my contractions still were not strong enough. At about 6:00 AM we were woken with a room full of nurses due to a serious deceleration of Mackenna's heartbeat. After finding baby's heartbeat again via an internal monitor, we were both watched very closely by our amazing nurses! Around 9:35 AM after another concerning deceleration of Mackenna's heartbeat the doctor called and said that the labor was causing too much stress on baby and ordered an imminent (but not emergency) C-section. At 10:14 AM, Mackenna Grace, was born! She is beautiful!
When she was born, she had a fever and was sent to observation in the NICU. Thankfully, I was allowed to nurse her and they would bring her to our room to feed. Her first round of blood work came back borderline, so the did another round later in the day, which showed an increase in a protein that indicated an infection. She was immediately put on antibiotics and was admitted to the NICU. Now, we are going to her for her feedings due to an IV in her umbilical cord and to decrease the risk of a secondary infection. She is doing great! Her temperature is staying around normal and when it is "high" it only hangs out around 99 degrees. She is eating well, responding well, and is known by the nurses as a "happy and alert baby."What joy that brings to a mother's heart! I have also been informed that she's won the "Cute Baby Girl" award. :-)
The plan is to keep her in the NICU and on antibiotics for 10 days. We are waiting for results back from a 48 hour blood culture that will tell us what type of infection we're fighting. We'll find that out on Friday morning. Her initial lumbar puncture screening came back normal, which is a HUGE praise! That means that the infection hasn't reached her brain. Right now, they only see infection in her lungs.
God's sovereignty has been so evident to us over the past few days. First, our doctor arrived to check on us right as Mackenna's first heart deceleration occurred and in the scariness of those few moments, it was a blessing to know that our doctor was there. I was on penicillin during labor due to a positive Group B Strep test and Mackenna's doctor said that she received both doses and that probably helped her start fighting the infection sooner. There was no way that we could have planned that, but God knew, and we are thankful. Also, the fact that I am able to breast feed and that Mackenna is eating so well. The colostrum will give her lots of nutrients to help fight the infection. Then, the Lactation Consultant said that my colostrum was very thick and rich, which is GREAT! Again, another blessing from God. Obviously I have no control over the quality of my colostrum! Another thing is that Mackenna was just assigned a hospital pediatrician because the pediatrician that we chose works with a different medical group. Well, the doctor that was assigned to care for Mackenna is so caring, compassionate, and thorough. She does not want to leave anything unknown. So, she's been taking extra steps to check every possible problem and to get Mackenna healthy. She wisely decided to do a second round of blood work, even though Mackenna's first round was only "borderline." We are so overwhelmed by God's obvious hand in this situation. Praise the Lord!
Dustin and I have already started growing together as parents and it such a huge blessing to see our relationship deepen in Christ as we care for our daughter!
I will be posting lots of pictures and updates as we continue on this journey of parenthood. To God be the glory!
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