Creating Order in the Chaos

I don't know about you, but I am a very organized, schedule oriented, planning type of person. Before having a child the life I led was quite simple to organize, schedule, and plan. Enter Mackenna Grace Folden. My precious daughter is a lot like me in many ways. She is stubborn, knows how to charm her daddy, smiles at all the right times, likes to make people laugh... but organized, scheduled, or planned - she is not.

For the first four months of her life I skated by with the "new mommy adrenaline" and an excitement to finally be a stay-at-home working mom. :-) Then the chaos began to get to me. At first I noticed a slight anxiety creeping up inside me. Anxiety quickly turned into anger and annoyance, which are neither very attractive character traits. Then came the realization that my life would never be the same and God wanted it that way. The balance between trusting God and making choices to "create" order in my life was a tough concept for me to grasp. While it's true that God is a God of order, He has allowed this amazing little life to create some chaos in my life. What was He teaching me?

Through much thought, I believe that God is teaching me that I am NEVER in control of my life, no matter how orderly, neat, and scheduled it may look like from the outside. He is also teaching me how to become more like Him in spite of chaos. What choices can I make to "create" order out of chaos, while still behaving Christ-like when life happens and my plans are blown out of the water. How am I doing with this, you might ask? Well, not so great on most days, but I am ever-so-slowly learning. I can have a schedule but I must always remember that people are infinitely more important than following a schedule. I can discipline according to God's word, knowing that, like me, Mackenna is a slow learner and I need to be patient, not frustrated if it's taking her a while to learn a concept. I can be consistent, by God's grace alone, to provide a stable, secure, and loving household for my children and husband. I can spend time in God's Word and in prayer, gleaning wisdom and counsel from the perfect example of a parent who creates order out of His children's chaos. And for this, I am so thankful and humbled. Praise God!

More of This... Less of That

From time to time I like to reflect on whether or not my life is a picture of God's redemptive power. Often times I find that I fall ashamedly short. God has been using that time of reflection to help motivate me to make changes to better glorify Him. And so, I've compiled a list of small changes that I would like to make in my life. I think these changes will please God and help me find my joy in Him and my salvation rather than the things of this earth. Some of these will be easier than others. All of them will require me to depend on God's grace and strength to help me change my natural way of thinking and doing. I am SO thankful that I can know, without a doubt, that God stands ready to help me become more holy. What an amazingly patient, loving, and wise Father!

More time in God's Word and in communication with Him... Less time doing whatever I feel like doing.

More exercise & activity... Less laziness.

More respect & love towards my husband... Less of a critical attitude.

More time reading to and playing with Mackenna... Less "me" time.

More thoughts focused on Christ & others... Less concern for myself.

More thankfulness... Less complaining.

More cooking healthy meals at home... Less eating out.

More giving and saving... Less spending.

More reading... Less T.V.

More early bedtimes & early wake-ups... Less late nights and snooze button mornings.

More of God... Less of me.

Frogs and Snails, and Puppy Dogs' Tails...

That's what little boys are made of!

 It's a BOY!

Precious Profile Picture of Sawyer Matthias Folden!

On July 15th I had my 20 week ultrasound and we found out that we'll be welcoming a little boy into the Folden Family! While we would have been ecstatic for either gender (honestly, though I was really "feeling" a boy vibe early on), it really is exciting knowing that our son is on his way. We are praying that God will continue to bless this pregnancy and provide health and safety to myself and to baby Sawyer. This week I will have another prenatal appointment where I will have to get an early screening for Gestational Diabetes (which I had with Mackenna). If I have it again, it means a strict diet with barely any carbs or sugar! I am not too concerned about the screening because I don't mind giving up my carbs and sugar to ensure the health of my son. But, what I'm not looking forward to is the needle prick that tests my blood sugar! I remember with Mackenna, my fingers were so sore for the first few weeks!

Anyway, I am having a blast trying to design Mackenna and Sawyer's room. They'll be sharing a room at least for a year, but probably longer than that. So we are going with the colors: Green, Brown, and Pink. Colors they can grow with. Mackenna's side will be all girl and Sawyer's side will be all boy! Dustin is so excited to see it, which makes me excited to start on some of my projects.

Anywho, that's a quick update on pregnancy #2! Until next time!

Sleep, Anyone?

There has been little sleep going on this week in the Folden household. Wednesday evening, Dustin and I painted our kitchen and two walls in our living room. What I foolishly thought would take two hours ended up taking close to five! When we finished painting at midnight we were starving and had to have a snack and unwind. So we got to bed close to 1:00 AM but I slept like a rock!

Thursday night, one molar and one incisor tooth are to blame for a second sleepless night. I fell to sleep around 9:30 (on the couch while watching a movie with Dustin). After being woken up and settling back to sleep in bed, Mackenna awoke at 12:30 AM with what I can only guess was tooth pain. Her gums have been really swollen this week and I can almost feel the teeth... come on, already! From 12:30 AM to 2:30 AM there were a few thirty minute increments of sleep, but nothing truly restfull. Combine that with a mind full of thoughts and I am awake. I am exhausted, my eyelids are heavy, but I am awake. And I am planning to stay awake instead of tossing and turning in bed wondering why I can't fall to sleep. It's Friday. Maybe I can talk Dustin into letting me sleep in a bit tomorrow. ;-)

Mackenna's One Year Pictures

One Year Ago, Today

One year ago, today, I was finally admitted into the hospital after four days of "pre-labor." I was growing in patience as I learned time and time again that I was only 3 cm dilated. I grew in trusting God's wisdom and love as the nurses and doctors rushed around me trying to find Mackenna's heart beat. They found it. Praise the Lord!

One year ago, today, I thanked the anesthesiologist for giving me the epidural that, during my pregnancy, I vowed I would never want. I stared at the fetal monitor and watched Mackenna's heart beat with every contraction even though the nurse told me to get some rest. {After our scare, are you kidding me?}

One year ago, today, I had a feeling in my gut that Mackenna would we welcomed into this world via a cesarian section. Today, I wear that scar proudly! One year ago, today, I once again learned to trust God more as Mackenna was admitted to the neonatal intensive care unit to receive antibiotics for an infection that could have gotten a lot worse then it did. Again, God is so good! Praise the Lord!

One year ago, today, my little girl was brand new! And we were brand new parents! Still learning how to dress, feed, soothe, and protect our precious girl. Diaper changes took three times as long as they do now and bath time was almost more stressful than it was worth. Three hours of uninteruppted sleep was glorious and the newborn sleepy stage was not taken advantage of (if only I knew then what I know now)!

And today, we are a family of three. Today, I am a little weepy-eyed as memories of the past year flood my mind and fill my heart. Today, I am humbled by the grace of our Savior, giving us so many gifts that we don't deserve. First and foremost, our salvation in Christ. Today, I'm thanking God for the gift of Mackenna Grace Folden. Our hearts grow in love for her every day. And while today we may be a tad bit more experienced and a tiny bit wiser, we still have much to learn, much to experience, and much more wisdom to gain as we grow in parenthood.

Giggly Girl!